Be Yourself or Be a Mess

Posted on | July 18, 2012 | 6 Comments

What are your greatest personal strengths? Honesty, optimism, intelligence, creativity, modesty… So many that we try to live up to but of all personal strengths which do you think is the greatest predictor of success? Sorry for the bad news, but it’s the one that people most often rank dead last on self evaluations: self control.
That’s right, the strength we need the most to succeed in life is the one at which we’re the worst.

Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength cites study after study illustrating how weak we humans are at exercising self control, yet how much happier and more successful we become if we find a way to master this discipline.

One area where I struggle with this is email. Oh, how tempting to spend hours reacting to emails as they hit my computer and iPhone! At the end of the day, though, I find myself tired but unfulfilled. Did I really move our business forward today or did I burn all my energy just treading water? I can almost feel the little devil on my shoulder whispering, “C’mon, Ben, forget that thank you letter to your mom/customer/business partner. Click this joke email from your buddies instead.” (Sorry, Mom ☺)

Here are a couple tips I picked up from the book about how to beat back that whispering devil and master self control:

We have only a limited amount of self control within our bodies.
Exercising self control requires fuel. Glucose, actually, which you marathoners and triathletes will recognize as the same fuel our bodies require for long endurance events.
Tip: If you know you’re about to enter a scene that requires self control, such as confronting an angry customer, a party with a lot of junk food and alcohol, or a boring meeting where you have to appear attentive, make sure you fuel up beforehand on a sports drink or healthy snack. Enter on an empty stomach and you’re much more likely to fail.

Suppressing emotions is a huge drain on our finite supply of self control.
Subjects asked to watch a sad movie but not cry or funny movie but not laugh performed miserably in the very next situation where temptation showed itself. For example, those who suppressed their emotions during the movies ate about three times more ice cream after the movie than those who were not asked to suppress emotions.
Tip: Ask yourself, “Am I living a life that’s aligned with the real me?”
If you’re not, whether it’s a career poorly aligned with your personality or a social network that pressures you to act unlike your normal self, chances are you’re expending lots of willpower and leaving yourself vulnerable to other temptations.

One final tip from the book, actually the simplest of all, but I just didn’t feel I could convey it in words alone. So here it is, a video message on how to eat healthy and lose weight without dieting or losing the battle against self control. Something I’ve tried for the last few weeks and it works.

Ben\'s video message July 2012

Share
Category: Uncategorized

Comments

6 Responses to “Be Yourself or Be a Mess”

  1. Bill Thomasson
    July 24th, 2012 @ 10:25 am

    Great blog Ben! It seems with each new year the challenges that we face make us ever mindful of the need to practice self control. I might add that I think this is particularly relevant to Happy Valley at this difficult time.

    Best Regards,
    Bill

  2. Ben Lawrence
    July 24th, 2012 @ 11:32 am

    Thanks for the feedback, Bill. You’re right, Penn State just learned that a lack of discipline, or shall we say a lack of willpower to do what’s right, has forced them to write a check today for more than $70 Million. Hopefully the healing for the university and its victims now begins, though it’s going to be a long road.

  3. Winnie Chu
    July 24th, 2012 @ 8:50 pm

    Thank you, Ben for the sharing. So true that everything starts from ourselves. I like your tip from the video, simple but works!

    Winnie

  4. Ryan
    July 26th, 2012 @ 7:44 am

    Great work Ben…thanks for adding value to my day! This has gone to all my employees and I bet you their lives are impacted in a positive way which only doses one thing at work….increase in clarity and productivity!! Thx man!!!

  5. Ben Lawrence
    July 30th, 2012 @ 4:00 pm

    Hi Winnie,
    How nice to hear from you! Your comment that “everything starts with ourselves” reminds me of a great quote I heard years ago. All two letter words: “If it is to be it is up to me.”
    I hope to be in Hong Kong this fall and if so we’ll certainly get together :)

  6. Ben Lawrence
    July 30th, 2012 @ 4:03 pm

    Thanks, Ryan. I’m delighted to hear you shared this post with your team. Consider it the Cliff notes on a great book I know you’d enjoy.

Leave a Reply






  • E-mail updates

    Enter your email address:


  • "Those who make the worse use of their time are the first to complain of it shortness."
    -Jean De La Bruyere

  • Never check email in the morning? Really? Julie Morgenstern is a time management expert who's consulted with several Fortune 500's. Watch this video to learn about "the single most important thing you can do to regain control of your work day."

  • About Ben Lawrence

    Ben Lawrence Ben serves as a Global Account Executive to Fortune 500 companies who are interested in becoming more competitive in emerging markets, with an emphasis on improving the productivity of non-native English speakers.

    Ben lives in Pennsylvania with his wife, three daughters, and dog Elvis. He is a competitive triathlete and member of the National Eagle Scout Association.

  • RSS Ben Lawrence blog feed

  • Categories

  • Archives